Sunday, February 14, 2010

8. Sita-Rama principle for a Happy Married Life (Category:- Best Practices)

We all would have read/listened to Ramayana sometime in our life. Ramayana tells us that Sri Rama followed and taught us the principle of "Eka Patnivrata Drahma" (One woman man principle). Same was reciprocated by Mother Sita in return to Rama (One Man Woman).

Now, why did Sita Rama follow such a simple life? Why couldn't they enjoy their life lavishly as like as today's youngsters? Rama was a Prince, he could have wedded many woman and could have spent a lascivious life as like as many other Kings did in our society. Similarly, mother Sita could have accepted Ravana's proposal and could have become the Queen of the palace Lanka which had no match in the three worlds in terms of its beauty. Why did she prefer to suffer than to betray Rama?

Answer to all these queries is only one thing, "There is ultimate satisfaction/happiness/peace only in eka patni/pati dharma". (Of course Brahmacharya/celibacy is superior to everything else, but i would not like to touch that topic here. Would write a separate post some day on that).

Let's take some examples, study them and then draw a conclusion.

  • King Yayati:-He was a great king but failed in his life because of lack of fidelity for his queens and 'want for more'. He even exchanged youth of his son with his old age and enjoyed pleasures with Rati's daughter for years. But at last he learnt a lesson that there is no permanant peace/happiness in lusting after many women. There is no end point. He repented and gave his youthfulness back to his son. Most of his life got wasted behind finding peace in extra marital relationships which he couldn't attain. He learnt that devotion/dedication towards one soul-mate gives peace
  • Chandra (Moon god):-It's a well known story that Chandra had 27 wives (daughters of Daksha), but out of them he used to neglect everyone and was attached to Rohini only. Practically speaking, one can not share same amount of love with everyone in such relationships. Love remains as a shared pool and whosoever gets the major part remains a bit satisfied while deprives others from their share. This made his marital life disturbed and ultimately had to suffer the curse of Daksha
  • Vrihaspati:- He being the Dev guru (Teacher of Demi Gods), himself committed a sin of lusting for his elder brother's wife Mamata and involved in conjugal relationship with her and begot a child from her (his name was Sage Bharadwaja). What repercussions did it have? It made his wife Tara lose faith in him and she also involved herself in extra marital physical relationship with Chandra and begot a son named Budha from him. Could they invest trust in each other anymore? No! The fabric of their married life got damaged beyond repair!!
  • Tiger Woods:-His life is a hell. I needn't explain anything. Whosoever is abreast with the current affairs would definitely have a clue about his various affairs and his failure in a peaceful marital life
  • Bill Clinton:-Again here i wouldn't want to waste my efforts repeating his story. he is also not successful in attaining peace in marital life

Also we can find many youngsters falling and failing in multiple affairs. Nowadays there is seldom any case where you may find that people are peaceful in their marital life. Some of the common thoughts of today's era are:-

  • Generic thought:- Who knows what my husband does behind my back?
  • Overtime duty:-Today my wife returned late from office. is there something cooking up?
  • Charming Colleague:-My Hubby's team mate is so charming. I need to keep an eye on my hubby
  • If wife is a homemaker:- i don't know what she does when I'm not at home

People are losing Trust on their spouses and with their own hands making their blissful married life into a bed of thorns experiencing hellish things everyday due to false suspicion. This is in turn leading to many break-ups, separations, quarrels, mental disturbances etc. kind of diseases for which there is no medicine available with medical science.

This is something which has to be solved only with one pill called 'Eka patni/Pati Vrata Dharma'. Eka patni Vrata Dharma doesn't mean staying married with one and eying on some other. This would lead to same disturbance which an extra marital affair would cause. Eka patni Vrata dharma is to remain, Physically, mentally, by heart and soul, dedicated to only one. If someone gets himself uplifted to that pedestal where he can consider all other womenfolk as his Mother/Sister, then there would be no mental disturbance or physical attraction towards other women leading him to stay peaceful in his life. Same applies to women also.

That's what Lord Rama and Sita have taught us. They preached us the two basic elements for any successful relationship to sustain and stand erect for posterity.

Their life teaches us to learn that every relationship is built upon two pillars. First one is "Trust", and second one is "Fidelity (faithfulness)". These are the two common elements we use to build our relationships. In most of the cases it so happens that people remain successful in maintaining them for ever in business relationships with the customer but fail to maintain the same in their personal life.

In this modern aristocratic era people give their prime attention to their professional life whereas their private life gets the least focus. That's the reason we see lot many successful stories of 'Man to Businessman' and on the same lines we see a day by day increase in the graph of stories of separation, divorces, extra marital relationships etc. Where are those successful men failing? Answer is only at two places, viz. Trust and Fidelity!

Fidelity/Faithfulness is the prerequisite to Trust!!

So, what causes Trust to break married people's life in our society? It's clear that lack of fidelity is the answer. Now what could be the reason behind lack of faithfulness? Answer would come as 'Greed, and Dissatisfaction'. Now let's dig into this a bit more further. What's the cause of Dissatisfaction? It's basically a mentality 'All better looking things should become mine!'.

That's the culprit behind all the disturbances!

The day every human being (man and woman both) follows the path shown by Lord Rama and Mother Sita, they would start feeling an upliftment in their personal lives towards a state of serenity and ultimate bliss!

It's not Betterment which counts....It's the Commitment which pays in the long run..!!

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